that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
