I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
