I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
