It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I want a musical about memes.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
