White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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