Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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