...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
