Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
