Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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