Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
