They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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