But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
