Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
