That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
