Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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