Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
