We're like a lot better than the average bears
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
