you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
