i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
we're so committed to being not committed
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
