I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
