so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
It was confusing and full of hummus
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
