Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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