where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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