I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
