my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
he just fucked me for my cheese.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
