y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
