I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
He felt like a one man threesome
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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