Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
