I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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