Dual....:-)
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
