do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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