Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
