i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
