So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
