It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
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