so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
