I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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