actually, I'm a sock model
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
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