Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Fuck me I smell like cheese
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
