I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
