didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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