Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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