if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize
