WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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