That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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