is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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