yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
The best revenge is premature balding
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
