Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
