big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
