It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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