I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
